The Level of Change is Strong when You SURRENDER

Today has been a very overwhelming day and I just can't stand it honestly. It's been like shadow work all day long and I feel super overwhelmed. I woke up feeling pain all over my body and I just felt drained. I went to be very late around 4am and that was my own damn fault. I was dealing with things that was not good for my mindset. At least I closed it off quickly and tried to focus on balancing myself. I had a very strong panic attack and I had to calm myself down. 

It's very interesting how life works and how things come about with my life and how I deal with things. During June of last year .. I was going through a strong transformation and I was trying to learn more about the unknown of the world around us. I was going deeper into the occult and seeing the rabbit holes of the universe. Tapping into the energies and trying to see what I can get out of it. I was new to things and I was afraid of things. I was learning how to protect myself during the month of June. I was holding something that I hold dear to me and I ended up losing it afterwards. I'm not sure if it was a punishment or a transformation after letting it go. I was holding a small little bottle of holy water that I got during Easter. It was actually my birth moon that day of the Waning Gibbous but it was Scorpio. I design the little bottle with white candle wax, glitter, a crescent gold 14k moon and made it into a little necklace. April 17 2022 Full moon in Scorpio Waning Gibbous aka 18 The Moon of Water Energy and 9 as the Hermit of Virgo. I wore it each day and I didn't take it off me.. until June 18,2022.  Easter is my favorite time of the year and I cherish it a lot.

Birthday Tarot Card: 30 (3) The Empress And The Hanged Man (12)

Empress (3)

I'm not sure what's going on with me lately. I used to want to be around people often and cling on to it. I study people and I try my best to observe them before connecting. Now Ive been selective and I give myself some space to breath. I can't handle communication or the connection with someone for the whole day. it's not them and they aren't the problem. Sometimes I need a break to breath and come back to communicate. I tend to be very strong with my empath energy and I'm clairvoyant. Shit can be very overwhelming for me. Thankfully my friends aren't pissed at me with this reaction of change and my family is adjusting. My friends are different energies that I either reconnected with, started a new bond or removed toxic energies that I didn't want to handle anymore.

The Pisces Sun In Aries 1st House With The Grand Cross Of Fixed Signs (Aquarius, Leo, Scorpio And Taurus And The Aquarius Rising,Venus And Mercury Had A Very Crazy Adventure!

Jeez.. 

My Energy Lately Has Been Overwhelming And I Wasn’t Really Ready For This Ride. I Had A Feeling That There Was Going To Be Multiple Tower Moments.. I Just Didn’t Realize How Quickly They Would Become. I Should Have Know But Maybe I’m Not Supposed To Know The Answers To Growth. If I Ended Up Knowing In Advance.. I’d Probably Wouldn’t Learn From It Or Realize What’s Going On. I’m Dealing With A Lot Of Shifts This Year With My Fixed Grand Cross… I Tend To Predict What’s Happening Next But I Become Very Uncertain When. It’s When I Suddenly Learn .. It’s All With Time Frame Of 2-3 Months..

I Look Up At The Celling Starting At The Red Gloss Light Glowing And Shining With Green Stars. I Start To Tune Out And Think To Myself.

I'm Actually Amused By My Actions And How I’m Handling Things. May Has Been A Roller Coaster For Me And It’s Been Very Triggering. I Started To Realize That Memories Could Have Been Erased. I Was Making Them Triggering Instead Of Letting Go. Yes Some Events Were Wonderful And Some Were Horrible Events That Were Killing Me For Years. 

Wheel The Fire Within Yourself