The Awakening

I Look Up At The Celling Starting At The Red Gloss Light Glowing And Shining With Green Stars. I Start To Tune Out And Think To Myself.

Is This What It Feels To Change During A Tower?

So Many Walls Have Fell Down In Front Of Me. Either They Break Down. Burn Down Into Ashes To Disappear Or Gets Repaired In Front Of Me. Sometimes A New Wall Is Made And I'm Afraid To React With It. Fuck Why Am I Being Jumpy? How Irritating.. I Am Not Enjoying This Energy At All. I Am Confronting Things That I Don't Want To Run Into. I Feel Like Everything Around Me Turns Into Mirrors And I Am Stuck In The Middle. Either I Run Towards It, Break Them All Or Just Stay Here In The Middle Feeling Defeated. Do I Really Want To Accept This? Do I Want To Sit Here And Just Accept That I Am Weak?

"I Cant"

I Look At Myself In The Mirror Each Time And I Think To Myself. "Is This Me?" And I Keep Noticing Each Time.. I Am Different And I Feel Different In Every Piece Of Myself. I Keep Changing Myself Even More And I Don't Look The Same Anymore. I Am Not Even Thinking, Acting Or Being My Old Self. It's Like I Am Shedding Out Dead Skin Of Myself Like A Snake And Turning Into A New Version Of Myself. I Mean Funny Enough.. I Am An Earth Snake Of 89. I Remember My Mentor Told Me .. Months Back That I Am Going To Look Back At Photos Of Myself And See All The Changes. Every Single Thing That I Used To Be And Transforming Into Something Else. 

"All I've Ever Wanted Was Destiny To Be Fulfilled

 Is In My Hands, I Must Not Fail, I Must Not Fail

Even Through The Darkest Days
This Fire Burns Always
This Fire Burns Always

This Is The Proving Ground
Misery Begins To Rise
Turn Away From Yesterday
Tomorrow's In My Eyes

Nevermore To Be Held Down
By The Waves Against Me
Nevermore To Be Cast Aside
This Day Is Mine

Even Through The Darkest Days
This Fire Burns Always
This Fire Burns Always

I Will Not Be Denied In This Final Hour
I Will Not Be Denied, This Day Is Mine
This Passion Inside Me Is Burning (Is Burning)
This Passion Inside Me Is Burning (Is Burning)
Even Through The Darkest Days
This Fire Burns Always (Always)
This Fire Burns (Fire Burns) Always
Always (Always) -Killswitch Engage "This Fire Burns"

I Am Trying To Face All My Demons Before I Go Through A New Change ... I Feel Changes Happening In Front Of Me, And It's Overwhelming Me. Things Have Been Very Overwhelming And I'm A Sensitive Person. I Feel Like Multiple Things Are Happening At Once. I'm Breaking Apart But In The Same Time.. I'm Calm And I Don't Know Why.. I'm Calm And I'm Not Overreacting. I'm Suffering And I'm Dealing With The Energy Around Me. I May Not Have All The Answers To Things But I Feel Like I Can Be Guided Back To The Energy That I Desire.

"I'm Able To Guide You To The Light Of Your Own North Star".

My North Star Does Shine But There's An Issue Here.. I Need That North Star To React To The Aquarius, Leo, Cancer And Pisces. That Energy Is Really Pulling With Its Alliance Of Virgo And Taurus. Strange Connections Are Coming Back From Years Back And People Whom I Never Really Had A Communication With. Certain People Have Reconnected Back Into My Life And The Energy Feels Like We Spoke Just Yesterday.

"Something Is Missing"

Funny Because I Do Feel The Energy Within The Waves But It Lingers In A Way Of Curiosity, Observation And Wonder. Which I Myself Don't Understand Why So Much Curiosity? Why Not Just Come Forth? I Sense So Much Fear In The Energy And So Much Worry. It's Interesting Because This Energy Feels Like I've Always Been So Kind To It. Never Once Showed The Energy Any Type Of Anger. I've Always Welcomed This Energy With Open Arms And Smiles Within My Face. I Try My Best To Be Very Gentle And Caring To This Connection. I Just Hope One Day The Connection Understands And Comes Forth. As For Now.. I Am Dealing With My Growth During This Transformation And I Am Seeing What My Mentor Has Said. I Am Changing  And I Am Looking Very Different. I Actually Like It Because I Am Able To Speak Up For Myself. I Don't Care How Much I Am Being Myself And Speaking Up My Mind. I Am Allowing My Throat Chakra To Be Open And Speaking The Truth Of How I Feel Inside. I Am Not Sugarcoating Anymore Or Trying To Hide Who I Am. I Am Expressing Myself With No Shame. You Either Accept Me For How I Look, Speak And Act Or Just Leave. I'm Sick Of The Criticizing All Around Me And I Am Very Accepting Of Different People. They May Look Different To Others But Not To Me. I Am Very Supportive And I Want To Be There For Those People. I Can't Give My All Because I Too Need Energy For Myself. But, I Am Here To Support And Try My Best To Guide Them. 

Life Has Been Very Amusing During This Transformation And I Know This Isn't Finished Yet.