Facing My Fears

Today has been a very overwhelming day and I just can't stand it honestly. It's been like shadow work all day long and I feel super overwhelmed. I woke up feeling pain all over my body and I just felt drained. I went to be very late around 4am and that was my own damn fault. I was dealing with things that was not good for my mindset. At least I closed it off quickly and tried to focus on balancing myself. I had a very strong panic attack and I had to calm myself down. 

I started a new job as an astrologer reader but I feel more like I'm doing tarot.. even though that's not my job position. It is what it is.. I try very hard to push astrology transit reading but I am always requested to read something. I learned to mix it up a bit like my mentor told me. Find your own way of reading things even if it may not be the category position. He was right and I followed his advice.. 

The First day was wonderful June 2 (The Devil and The Lovers) it was my actual birth chart tarot day and I felt like using it. I ended up with a high level amount of money and it was boosting my confidence. I was rated 5 after a few readings and that cheered me up. 
The Second day was a little 50/50 but things were doing okay with (The Tower and The Chariot). Money was slacking because I was only making $80 and I just needed $20 more before 12am. I was just thinking to myself about something when suddenly someone appeared for a chat call. The energy helped me because it was actually The Wheel of Fortune. Very interesting combo and it ended up pushing me to my goal with $10 bucks. 
The Third day ended up breaking me apart which was yesterday morning.. I woke up very weak, stressed out and tired. It was a Heavy rainy day and I just felt off. Even though my clairvoyant energy was high and strong. One little review can change everything around for me. My Sun energy went down and the Wheel of fortune is spinning with future shifts. I felt very off today and I just wanted something to boost my confidence. I've been speaking to my connections over the website that I work for. They have been very supportive with me and giving me ideas. 

1: Express yourself like you feel deep down inside even if it's hurts them. Sometimes they can't handle the truth and it's fine. 
2: accept that everyone is going to agree or disagree 

3: Mix your tool skills in your readings to help you connect with the energy 

4: You may have your good days and your bad days. Even if the reviews may be negative.. you know you're speaking your words, not sugar coating and trying to be honest.. 

5: You will do fine but you have stage fright. Break the energy to connect with yourself and trust the energy. Mediate 

I had a little black cloud but I'm not going to allow it to sink me down. I was reading about why Rainbow Titanium is calling out to me. It's because My Moldavite is asking for a boost. Rainbow titanium is conecting with My Aquarius Rising, Venus and Mercury to help me balance My Scorpio Pluto in 9th House of Occult. While to energies of Aquarius is more about the Self/Ego and Psychic Abilities. Today is going to be a Good day and 8th will be even better. My best friend is actually getting a tattoo of us and I'm very honored by it. I have so many people who want matching tattoos or a tattoo that represents me as a memory or reminder of what I've done for them. I've been so blessed with these connections and I'm happy what life is giving me. 

I just hope that I will do a kick ass job and I will rise to the top like the Phoenix within me. I am becoming the Scorpio of the Occult! I will become My own Divine energy within the Unknown.