The Pisces Sun In Aries 1st House With The Grand Cross Of Fixed Signs (Aquarius, Leo, Scorpio And Taurus And The Aquarius Rising,Venus And Mercury Had A Very Crazy Adventure!
Stuff I Realized While Coming Back To My Old Area That I Was Living In For A Year Or So. I Was Coming To Visit Back And Forth During 2018-2021. Dating Long Distance And Also Living From Time To Time Up North.
During 2018-2021 I Was Dealing With Lots Of Ups And Downs In My Life. I Was Dealing With Things That Were Out Of My Own Control. There Was Times That I Was Able To Avoid A Situation, Adjust Or Deal With It. I Felt Like If I Ended Up Disagreeing To Something But Forced To Do It. I Was Worried On Failing In Gaining Happiness In A Relationship. Yah.. I Should Of Ended Everything And Avoiding The Heart Breaks. I Was Afraid To Be Alone But Deep Down I Felt I Was Regardless. I Always Had To Put So Much Effort To Keep A Balance In The Relationship. Blah How Wasteful..
When I Think About It Now And Reviewing It With A Clearer Mindset. I Believe Sometimes We Got To Go Through Obstacles Of Painful Events. To Learn From It, Grow From It And Be Aware What To Change Within Ourselves. Dealing With The Things I Dealt With. Reminds Me Of How Happy I Am For Not Having To Deal With Things That I Never Wanted To Do.
- I Dodged 2 Divorces
- I Am Not A Single Mother
- I Didn't Get Stuck In A Fake Marriage
- I Accepted That I Couldn't Have A Kid Yet But I Will One Day.
My First Engagement Was Both Faults Of Myself And My Ex. It Happens And We Both Came To An Agreement. We Maturely Talked It Out And Understood Each Another. Very Balanced Out Disconnection Of Our Engagement And We Ended It Calmly. I'm Glad We Didn't Get Married And Ended Up Being Divorced. It Would Of Been Possible Mostly For .. We Aren't Romantically Connected That Way. We Are Much More Closer Friends Instead Of Lovers. It's The Sad Truth But Hey? It Happens? You Learn? It Sucks Our Connection Ended Up Being Controlled By His Girlfriend Insecurities. She Doesn't Understand That We Aren't Into Each Another Romantically Anymore. It's Pretty Pathetic.. But Whatever I Used To Be In That Type Of Mindset And You Have To Learn To Trust Someone.. If She Can't Trust My Ex And How He Is As A Person. That's On Her Not Mine. I'm Much More In Peace And I Don't Need That Type Of Toxic Insecurities Trying To Fake Friendships With Me. She Makes Me Laugh Honestly How She Tries Sooooo Hard To Become A Friend To Me. Ya No.. No Thank You. I'm Very Selective With My Communication And Who I Deal With.
My Second Whatever Fake Bullshit Type Of Connection. I Felt Like I Was A Secret The Whole Time After His Divorce With His Ex Wife. He Cheated On His Ex Wife With Me And Supposedly "Wanted" A Family With Me. Really Brain Washed Me Head To Toe With Fake Fantasy Dreams. Marriage With Kids, A House And "Military" Benefits. Honestly? I Just Didn't Know If It Was Real Or Not Half Of The Time. I Always Pointed Out That I Felt Like A Secret And I Didn't See The Vision Within It. It's Interesting .. Normally I Can Tell I Have A Future Or Possibility A Future With Someone. When I See A Vision Of A Child Within The Connection.
If I See A Child Or Twins.. It's A Higher Potential Chance Of Being With That Person. This Second Opportunity Would Of Ended Up Being A Painful Divorce. I'm Glad.. I Didn't Get Married Because He Was Selfish Judgemental Asshole. He Wanted To Create His Own Designed Wife Instead Of Accepting Me For Who I Am. Ugh.. No
As Much As I Want To Be A Mother To The Future Children Of Mine And My Future Husband. I Would Like To Be With Someone That Even Though I Can Have My Days. I Know Damn Well He Will Too.. Nothing Is Perfect And I Know We Will Bump Heads. I Know We Will Have Our Moments That I Am Busy Or He's Busy. We Will Be Able To Work A Schedule Out Together And Agree On Things Calmly. Maybe Times.. I Will Be Upset Or He Will Be.. It's Fine Because In A Real Healthly Relationship. We Are Going To Have Our Arguments, Disagreements And Not Accept Certain Things. I Know We Will Be Passionate, Supportive And Comfortable To Express To Each Another. That's When I Know He's Going To Be The One For My Future Children.
I'm Glad Im Not A Single Mother Because I Wouldn't Want To Have A Child.. Without A Father For My Kid. I Believe If You End Up Divorcing.. You Never Bothered To Try. I Would Like To Try My Best To Make The Marriage Work. Even If I Have To Take Therapy With My Future Partner Or Just Try A Certain Trick To Keep The Marriage Running. I'm Not Saying I'm Against Divorce.. Certain People Should Divorce Because They Are Causing More Damage Than Staying Together. But.. When It Comes To Myself And What I Would Like For A Future. I Will Try To Go Above And Beyond Before I Say It's Over Between Us. That's Why I'm Grateful That I'm Not A Single Mother Right Now.
In 2021 I Finally Had To End My Fake Engagement Aka Marriage. I Couldn't Stand Lying To My Parents Anymore Or My Ex Family In Laws. Funny.. April And May With These Two Energies Was A Killer Of Bad Memories. I Had More Good Memories With The First Instead Of The Second Connection. It Is What It Is.. And I Don't Care If That Sounds Heartless. At Least The First Connection Didn't Mind Fuck Me Over And Over To The Point Of Driving Me Insane. Or Try To Purposely Make Me Fat.. Judging Me Because I Have A Mental Disorder. It's Hilarious How Someone Can Judge You For Having A Mental Disorder Or Disorders When They Have It Too. I Had To End The Whole Lying Combo Because I Felt A Sour Taste To My Stomach. I Finally Told The Truth To My Father In April 2021.. Because I Couldn't Anymore. That's When The Ex Who I Consider A Fucking Bastard Dumped Me On Mother's Day 2021. Fucking Garbage..
I Lost A Son And Well That Doesn't Mean I'm Not Going To Have Anymore. I Don't Mind Having A Second Or Third Child In My Future. I Just Need To Be Careful Who I Settle My Life With. I Would Like Someone Who Has A Good Hard Working Mindset With A Good Sense Of Humor And Intelligence. He Can Express Himself In The Weirdest Way Possible And I Will Embrace Him Head To Toe. As Long As He's Into The Whole Engineering, Science, Technological, And Medical Side Of Life. He Has Me Saying Yes Very Quickly.. Ha. I've Learned That I Need To Be With Someone With Business, Education, Humor, Romance And Good Partnership Energy. He Can Be Romantic In His Own Silly Way Or Whatever Makes Him Comfortable. I Know People Suffer With Expressing Their Emotions. Some Are More Into Materialistic Or Expressing With Words. I'm Finally Learning That Both Are Okay And I Get It Now.
Hey If He Can Be My Business Parner And Still Be My Lover. That's A Good Package Deal That I Can Devote Myself Into. These Things Are Super Important To Me Because I've Wasted So Much Time On People Not Worth It. The Men That I Dealt With This Type Of Energy. I Stupidity Ended Up In A Break Up.. They Have Everything That I Just Pin Point Out And Desire.
I Fucked Up But That Doesn't Mean I'm Fucked Forever. I Am Aware Of Things Now And I Have Common Sense How To Handle Things Better. I Needed To Mature And Stop Being So Selfish. I'm Also Aware Of What I Truly Want. I Was So Picky About A Prince Charming Life Style That I Ended Up With Poor Life Choices.
I Need Someone Who Can Become The Emperor With Good Discipline, Personality And A Strong Mindset. He Doesn't Have To Be Perfect And He Can Express Himself Whatever Makes Him Comfortable. He Could Also Be Someone With Mental Disorder And I Will Still Embrace Him Without A Problem.
I'm The Type That Is Very Supportive To My Partner And If They Have A Health Issue Of Any Kind.. Mental, Physical Or Emotional. I'm Able To Handle It Calmly And Know How To Handle It. I Dated Men With Emotional Depression, Borderline Personality, Anxiety Depression, Anger Management Issues, Heavy Injuries From Military/Pro Fighting, And Just Being Semi Emotionless. I've Learned That I Can Handle All Of That Without An Issue. As Long As There Is Communication And I Can Try My Best To Connect With The Guy. If There's Something That I Need To Learn About Or A Hobby I May Not Know Or Got Into. I Will Study It, Focus On It And Connect With It. I Prefer Trying To Keep A Balance In My Relationship And Try To Understand My Parteners Desires/Goals.
During My Vacation I Had To Confront A Lot Bad Memories And Triggers. I Converted Them Into Beautiful Memories And I'm Happy. I Had A Lot Of Fun With My Mother And Was Able To Do A Lot Of Things During My Trip!
A Week Before My Trip .. I Was SICK.. Everything Happened All At Once. My Stomach, Body Pains, Lots Of Work, Anxiety And I Felt Like A Nervous Wreck. I Felt Miserable But I Kept Reminding Myself. "I Can Do This"..
Tuesday 5/23/2023(7) The Star Card & Strength: My Dream Finally Came True And I Went To NASA Space Center With My Mom! I Was So Excited Even Though Mom And I Were Tired. We Got There Around 10am And Finished Around 2pm.
We Ate Before Going To The Hotel And Around 4pm I Took Her To My Favorite Hotel. They Placed Me In The Same Floor As .. Two Years Back. I Was On The Same Floor But Not The Same Room. Heh.. I Was Triggered By It But I Ignored It Most Of The Time. I Made A Joke With My Mom.. The Numbers Added Up To The Sun 19 The Wheel Of Fortune 10 And The Magician 1. I Explained To Her "It Seems We Are Going To Have Our Ups And Downs But Manifest Good Memories" And I Opened The Door Without An Issue. My Mom Was Suffering With Heavy Anxiety But I Kept Reminding Her That We Are Going To Do Okay. We Slept Good In Our Queen Size Beds But Eh The A/C Unit Would Make Noise. I Don't Know How I Was Able To Tune It Out But I Slept Fine Each Day.
Wednesday May 24,2023 The Moon & Hermit: Getting Ready For My Niece's Graduation And Spending Time With My Sister's Ex In Laws Family. It Was Nice To Hang Out With Them But I Was Triggered By The Area. I Used To Live Around The Area And It Would Bring Back Memories Of Arguments. Sometimes I Stayed Quiet During The Graduation And I Tried My Hardest To Stay Emotionally Stabled. I Had Fun With The Family But I Came Home Depressed. I Slept The Rest Of The Day And Tuned Out To Prepare For The Next Day. I Was Crying Mentally In My Sleep Because I Felt Like I Was Emotionally Detoxing Bad Negative Energy From Triggering Memories. Thank God I Was Able To Shrug It Off In My Sleep For The Next Day.
Thursday May 25,2023 Is The Sun, The Wheel Of Fortune And The Magician: I Took My Mom To One Of My Favorite Malls And She Had So Much Fun! I Took Her Into A Inner Door Mall That Had Lots Of Anime Stores. She Understood Very Well Why I Loved The Mall. It Bought Back My Inner Child And Expressed Myself Easier. She Was Very Encouraging And She Wanted Me To Feel Happy.
I Got Lucky That Day And I Ended Up Trading My Iphone 12 Pro For The Iphone 14 Pro. Funny... When I Got My Iphone 12 Pro.. I Did It At A Different Mall Close To The One I Was At.. And I Was Judged For It.. Even Though It Was The Idea Of The Fucking Moron I Was Dating.
My Ex Talked Me Into Trading My Phone And If It's Possible.. He Encouraged Me To.. And I Was Able To Sell My Cellphone To A Friend Of Mine, Get A Discount With My Friend And Get A New Phone. I Paid The Rest Of The Amount On My Own. I Was Able To Give My Ex All The Money Quickly In A Week. But Of Course .. I Got Judged For It And He Made Me Feel Like The Bad Guy. Once Again Sour Taste In My Mouth.
Trading In The Phone Was A Dream Come True. I Was Able To Leave Behind Bad Memories For New Memories. I Ended Up With The Iphone 14 Pro In Purple Metallic And I Named It Joestar. I'm So Happy!
I Ended Up Taking My Mom To My 2nd Favorite Mall But It Was A Outdoor Mall. It Was The Disney Mall And The Weather Was Bad. My Mom And I Ended Up Getting Rained On. I Was Laughing And I Told Her. "You Want An Umbrella?" And She Said Yes Why? Me: I Got You! Follow Me! I Took My Mom To A Store, Bought Us Umbrella And Ponchos. I Explained This Is Our Practice For Tomorrow. She Understood And We Walked The Mall Together In The Rain. We Had A Wonderful Time Together And I Was Removing The Triggered Energy Out My Mind. I Had Good Memories And Bad Memories. I Kept The Good Ones And Deleted The Bad Memories To Convert Them To The Ones I'm Having Now With My Mom.
Bye Bye Cancer Sun Energy, Leave My Mindset And Leave Your Energy Out Of My Mind!
My Mom And I Hung Out At The Mall Until 8pm. We Left And I Took Her Out For Burgers!
Friday May 26,2023 Judgement And High Priestess: I Was Excited To Finally Come Back To My Favorite Place! I Went To Epcot Center Of Disney Park With My Mom. Even Though I Wasn't With A Partner This Time Around. I Was With Family Energy And It Was With My Mom. I Had Fun Spending My Day With My Mom And We Were Weather Prepared!
It Rained A Little But We Were Able To Handle It Perfectly Fine. We Took So Much Photos, Enjoyed The Foods, And Just Spend The Day Together. I Felt Kinda Of Old Because I Kept Getting Tired. I Normally Am Very Active And Hyper When I'm Out But This Time Around. I Was Super Relaxed And I Wanted To Sit Down Often. We Were Able To Do Everything Without An Issue.
Last Time I Was Here.. I Was With My Best Friend And She Was Dealing With Issues With Her Own Mother. We Weren't Able To Spend The Time At Epcot Like I Did With My Mom. I Spend The Day With Much More Happy Memories Instead Of What Happened Last Time. It Wasn't My Best Friend's Fault.. It Was The Situation That She Had To Deal With. I Felt Bad For Her And It Sucks That She Wasn't Able To Enjoy Her Disney Trip Calmly.
When I Spent My Time At Epcot, I Did Feel Depressed But I Wasn't Going To Bring That Up. I Saw Everyone Around Me Married With Kids. It Was Bothersome For Me And It Reminded Me Of Something That Happened To Me Last Year.. Reminded Me Of Someone.. That I Care About. I Understand How That Person Felt And I Felt It During My Trip At Disney On Friday.
Everyone Has A Family And Partner But Me. Yah... I Understand And It's So Triggering. I Tried My Best To Stay Strong And Enjoy Myself. I Spend Time With My Mom And I Kept Smiling When A Kid Would Interact With Me. It Gave Me Hope And Reminded Me That One Day I Will Be Able To Have My Own Family. I Just Need To Be Positive And Smile Up With Good Energy. My Mom And I Left Epcot Around 5pm To Go To Sleep. We Were Sooooo Tired That We Didn't Eat Dinner.
Saturday May 27,2023 The Universe And The Empress: Oh God I Was So Nervous For Saturday! Saturday Was The Biggest Event Of A Life Time.. I Never Had An Anime Tattoo Made And Designed For Me.
I Am All About The Traditional Tattoos Of Good Luck Charms Or Religious Stuff.
Nope This Time I Wanted Something Different And I Had To Study My Way Into Getting The Right Person. I Was Able To Get The Right Person For The Job! I Went With My Niece And Spend My Day Getting Ink Done By A Very Popular Tattoo Artist. I'm So Happy That I Can't Wait For It To Heal!
I Got So Emotional When The Artist Send Me The Video And Photos Of My Arm. Omg Fucking Cute! It's MINE! My Own Design And My Favorite Character!
I Am An Aquarius Rising With The Energy House Of Aries In 1st. The Tattoo Artist Is An Aries!!! And I Am An Aquarius Rising!!! The Number 17 Is The Star For Aquarius But The Secret Number Is 8 The Strength. Which Is My Leo Descendant Energy!
The Day Was The Empress And The Universe Which Is My Best Friends Tarot Card! She Was An Aries Sun Aries Moon! RIP! Our Last Anime That We Hadn't Finished Is On My Arm Also. It's Very Important Enjoy To Me And It's Super Relatable. She Understood Why I Was Into The Show And How Much I Had A Strong Connection. I Believe She Made This Energy Happen From The Divine Energy!
My Artist Was Amazing And Super Super Sweet. I Can't Wait To See This Artist In The Future!!!
After My Tattoo Was Over I Took My Niece To Eat With My Mom. We Had Fun And Spend The Night Time With Her. I'm Very Proud Of My Niece Because She Reminds Me So Much Of Myself In A Younger Age. She Can Draw Like Me, She Thinks Like Me And Acts Like Me. She's Very Smart.
Sunday March 28,2023 (22) Aka The Emperor And The Death Card: I Wanted To Show My Mom A Place Before We Left. My Favorite Location Around The Area With Crystals! There's A Store That I Normally Stop By And Buy Crystals From. Funny Enough I've Been Coming Here For 17 Years Aka The Star!
I Finally Manifested The Pendant That I Wanted For A Whole Year. The Holy Grail Aka Moldavite In A Pendant Form! Moldavite Is Only Found When You're Ready For A New Transformation. The Energy Of Sunday Was 22 And We Were 222 Miles Away From Home. It Was Meant To Be And I Was Able To Get The Crystal After Seeing It At NASA First. I Told My Mom If I Can't Find The Crystal Anywhere Else. I'm Buying It At The Nasa Website But Instead. I Was Able To Buy It At My Favorite Store!
We Were Able To Get Different Crystals And I Got Myself A Rainbow Titanium Ring. Mom Got Me Unakite And A Little Scorpio Pendant. Super Cute Honestly And I Had Fun Spending The Last Vacation Day With Her. She Explained To Me That I Knew Everywhere That Was Fun And Buy Cool Stuff From. I'm Glad She Had Fun Mostly That It Was Our First Big Trip Together Alone.
We Finally Came Home But UGHHH I Had Food Poisoning. Yay.. Now I'm Here Recovering Before I Start Work Tomorrow On Tuesday. One Big Wheel Of Fortune For Sure!
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